Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Dad50 #36 SGD- The Bear Hug

Stupid Games with Dad returns with an old favorite: The Bedtime Bear Hug.
The game is simple. The subject stands on their bed and holds their arms out so you can get a good grip around their chest. You then impart a rapid contraction upon the subject, forcing the wind out of their lungs (Ed: but not hard enough to break ribs!). Successful completion of the hug is accomplished when said subject laughs uncontrollably and collapses on the bed. The object of the subject is to attempt to resist the hysteria/collapsing, thereby proving he can out-do his father. The game can be repeated until either you or the subject begs for mercy and needs a break. The game is guaranteed to hype the subject up so that he won't get to sleep on the previously approved schedule. After becoming familiar with this game, the subject may attempt to play some "D", by twisting, or dropping their elbows to force you to grab their waist rather than chest. You can play along with this for a while, but don't dish out the bear hug until you can be certain of suitable "lung diaphragm action", which is the key to maximizing the effect. Unbeknownst to the subject, they don't stand much chance of resisting hysteric collapsing until they are 11 or 12 years old. So you simultaneously have (a) many years to play this game if you start when they are ~5, while (b) are automatically building a huge sense of accomplishment when they finally achieve "Bear Hug Collapse Immunity" (BHCI). A 12 yo that has achieved regular BHCI will strut, goad, puff their chest out and still fail to go to sleep on the previously approved schedule.

Dad U

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