Friday, October 8, 2010

Dad Blogs Suck. A 3rd grader weighs in....


For the past ~2 weeks the Dad-blog-o-sphere has been twisting itself in knots, tossing self-depreciating cream pies at each other over the accusations that: "Dad-blogs suck". After I first heard the accusation (and once I finally stopped laughing), I decided I wouldn't bother commenting (apart from affirming the suspicions of self-doubt arising from the other D-bloggers out there, who, like me, apparently all write little better than a 3rd grader).
But here I am, deciding to throw in my 2 cents worth. Why?

I don't review stuff, or work to "bring brands up to speed on the new wave". I'm not writing an open diary to my babies. I'm not an awesome photographer or tech-guru. I don't have tens of thousands of followers in my "community" or countless page hits to plunder for cold hard cash.  I am attempting to keep a fair separation of career and hobby, so my page probably looks more sucky than it could. If not for these reasons, then why?

Because Dads are my target audience, and the topic of fatherhood is the bread and butter of the blog.

And something is horribly wrong with fatherhood. 

The signs are everywhere: Tens of millions of children growing up without an involved dad in the US alone. Dads beating each other up on the sidelines of U10 ball game. Addictions. Domestic violence. Lack of commitment. Divorce. It goes on and on and on.....

Despite everything the popular culture likes spew out about dads (eg Homer, the doofus-dad advertising caricature, idolized single "supermoms*" who are all their kids need, etc etc),
dads are a necessary,
fundamental,
critical, and
irreplaceable
pillar of a child's life.

How can I possibly say that??? 
Because I've experienced the trauma of a father who went missing during my teen years. First, as he disengaged during marital strife, then through several stays in a psychiatric hospital, and finally divorce. 
I know. 
Still don't believe me? Then watch some of the anguish in the father/son reunion clips over at
www.aweekwithmyfather.com

It's dangerous as a dad to put yourself out there, to be vulnerable and share your hopes, experiences, failings, victories, and hard learned lessons. And after all that, this blog might still suck. But I don't care. If anything I write or post can connect with ...just...one...dad..., and perhaps be part of the reason he hugs his wife more often, gives his kid a piggy back ride, looks deep into the wide eyes of a 6 year old with a long tale, prays with his son at night, or goes to the meet the teacher night instead of the bar.....
...then I will regard Dad U as having been a massive success.

Dads, you only get one shot at this. Make it count.
Dad U

*I'm not dissing single moms, I'm saying that, for whatever reason, they deserved better.

7 comments:

  1. I just wanted to point out that I'm an awesome photographer and a tech-guru. Oh also, I write like a 2nd Grader who was held back from 3rd grade.

    Thanks for adding this post in. Well said, and I like your philosophy.

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  2. To be fair to some of the "Dad bloggers suck" crew, I took their posts to mean they were using a controversial title to advance the same points you're making here. Some of it was about brands and money and followers, but the rest was about a way for fathers to be better at connecting to each other. (still, great post.)

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  3. Nice job. Check out the new button on my site and click on it...

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  4. It's funny, because for those of us who are neck-deep in the world of dadblogging, we forget that the number of uninvolved/absent dads is really high. We're so busy writing about our parenting adventures, that we don't see how sad the big picture is for a lot of families.

    Thanks for writing this.

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  5. "If anything I write or post can connect with ...just...one...dad..., and perhaps be part of the reason he hugs his wife more often, gives his kid a piggy back ride, looks deep into the wide eyes of a 6 year old with a long tale, prays with his son at night, or goes to the meet the teacher night instead of the bar.....
    ...then I will regard Dad U as having been a massive success."

    Congrats Dad U...you are a success. Thank you!

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